Feeding all night

A couple of weeks ago I thought that I was ready to do something about Lily's sleeping. You see she wakes up a lot - often every hour - and wants to feed back to sleep. She also doesn't like sleep by herself in the evenings, meaning that I generally go to bed when she does (or shortly afterwards).

Now I am quite aware that she does not need to feed every hour. And I am acutely aware that my sleep would be drastically improved if, in fact, she didn't. But the thing is that as I approached the first few nights when I was planning to apply Elizabeth Pantley's techniques to encourage her to feed less and sleep more, I realised that I really wasn't ready.

[I should say that I do apply some of Pantley's techniques. Lily has a fairly consistent bedtime and routine, a good naptime schedule, and a blankie. However, it has become clear that we will have to take more drastic action in order to slow down the nighttime feeding (or get her to go down to bed by herself) and it is this more drastic action that I don't have the inclination to apply right now.]

The thing is that I think that Lily is still very little and that she is currently benefiting from our current arrangements. I also realised that as much as I would quite like a better night's sleep, I wasn't planning to change the arrangement for myself, but rather I was planning to change it because I felt as though everyone else thought that she ought to be sleeping better. It wasn't so much that I wanted to meet anyone's expectations. It was more like I was starting to feel guilty for having a child that doesn't sleep through the night - as though I had failed somehow and that lack of sleep was my punishment.


Once I realised that I really wasn't committed to changing things at the moment, suddenly it all seemed so much easier. I no longer felt so tired in the mornings now that I wasn't viewing my lack of sleep as a punishment. Instead I just saw it as a stage that we are going through and one that I have the capacity to change when I am good and ready (and mostly that will be when I think that Lily is good and ready).

The funny thing was that immediately after making this decision I started reading all these blog posts by people whose babies were also feeding all night, and that made me feel even better. That's one of the things that I love about the blogosphere - it is such a great way of linking up with people who share similar values and experiences, no matter where they happen to live. Having the confidence to follow my own parenting instincts can be challenging sometimes, and knowing that I am not alone in my crazy ideas can make it so much easier. So, thank you!